vertigo

11/12/05
Sat

I don’t know if it’s the hour-long live music and tinnitus or the alcohol swirling in my cranium and vision that’s altering my state of consciousness. I’m walking but I don’t feel my feet touch the ground, as though my head is simultaneously floating and feeling its affinity for the ground. The reverberating sound of music drowning through my system is making me high.
I love vertigo.
I’m walking straight. I’m running straight. I even caught up with the van.
Unfortunately, I left some shit that doesn’t belong to me.
The world makes sense to me again.


I’m working 36 hours every other day. I wake up every other morning in chaos. I’m in charge of housekeeping and managing 2 wards. And I am expected to have read. I don’t eat right. I stand or walk hours on end. I have no social contact other than those I am with everyday. I live without the knowledge of when I’d be free. The men I work with are rowdy. I am at risk of a urinary infection because I go through the day dehydrated.
I am in love.